It's a Sandra kind of day...

Grace Upon Grace

(Sandra McCracken)

In every station, new trials and new troubles

Call for more grace than I can afford

Where can I go but to my dear Savior

For mercy that pours from boundless stores.

~

Grace upon grace, every sin repaired

Every void restored, you will find Him there

In every turning He will prepare you

With grace upon grace

~

He made a way for the fallen to rise

Perfect in glory and sacrifice

In sweet communion my need He supplies

He saves and keeps and guards my life

~

Grace upon grace, every sin repaired

Every void restored, you will find Him there

In every turning He will prepare you

With grace upon grace

~

To Thee I run now with great expectation

To honor You with trust like a child

My hopes and desires seek a new destination

And all that You ask Your grace will provide

~

Grace upon grace, every sin repaired,

Every void restored, you will find Him there

In every turning He will prepare you

With grace upon grace

Even in the Means...

Well this day's been crazy but everything's happened on schedule

From the rain and the cold to the drink that I spilled on my shirt

'Cause You knew how You'd save me before I fell dead in the garden

And You knew this day long before You made me out of dirt

And You know the plans that You have for me

And You can't plan the end and not plan the means

And so I suppose I just need some peace just to get me to sleep...

(Caedmon's Call, "Table for Two")
~

I have caught myself humming this simple yet profound tune throughout the day... This place I'm in now...this holding pattern, season of waiting, whatever the label, has been a real stretch. My faith has been tested, really put through the fire, in recent weeks and I am now at a place where I can vaguely see what is going on, but can't yet see the end. Does that even make any sense? I've come out of the depths of toying with doubt and fear, and can see myself in the midst of a season of waiting with the hand of our wonderful, merciful God on me and my husband. This season is far from over, but my perspective is being cleared even as this very day transpires. I am out of the depths and in a place where I can actually feel His constant comfort. I am reading the Scriptures with renewed, refreshed, and hopeful eyes. Because of who our great God is, because of His rich promises for us, His sons and daughters, I can wholeheartedly say that I am thankful for where He has us. My husband and I are still clueless as to what is in store for us, but He knows and He provides - and that is more than enough for me.

~

I have not departed from the commandment of His lips;

I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my portion of food.

But He is unchangeable, and who can turn Him back?

What He desires, that He does.

For He will complete what He appoints for me,and many such things are in His mind.

~Job 23:12-14

Favorite Photo(s) Friday!

We participated in a 40th birthday surprise party this week for the beautiful woman pictured above. I took around 50 pictures of the gathering on Tuesday night, so it was rather difficult to narrow down my favorites--and trust me, these still aren't all of them by any means!! Not only did we surprise her with the party itself, but her husband asked all of us to come prepared with a "Roast or Toast" to read. She was truly touched by it all, and I'm looking forward to putting all of the words and party pictures into a memorable scrapbook for her~

Most of the lovely ladies in our small group - I love each one of them dearly and am thankful for the unique friendship I have with each one of them! They each have very unique, sweet ways of encouraging others, myself included, and I am blessed to know them during these years~

My very handsome husband with Dr. Party Palace himself~

Me and Mrs. Party Palace - I managed to get through my "toast" without tears, but being as sentimental as I am and so thankful for our friendship, it wasn't easy!

Fellow scrapbooker, picture-taker, and dear friend!


Me and my love

~~~

"I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace..." (Philippians 1:3-7a)

A Somewhat Pointless Post

I must confess...I woke up in a pretty darn sour mood this morning. I'm really only posting to distract myself from work, and to remind myself that snow really is pretty - it really is! Even when you feel like there surely can't be any more of the white stuff than what has already fallen, it's still breathtaking.

I have never been tired of seeing the snow until this morning. As a girl from the south (and one who will always be a southern gal at heart), I have appreciated and enjoyed the snow every year since being in Louisville - playing in it, capturing the beauty on camera, enjoying the dogs' reactions to the powdery fluff....but this morning? Ooooh-wee, was I in a mood when I woke up! I didn't want to go anywhere, do anything, just wanted to stay home in my pajamas with my husband and the pups.

I have caught a little glimmer of why my friends in Michigan and Connecticut get a little tired and down after seemingly neverending months of this... I still want to be grateful for this beautiful season, in awe of the serene beauty surrounding me. But when I have to get up for work while every other school and business in the city seems to be closed, put on a different pair of shoes to trudge through the powder and ice (and yes, there was also ice this morning which definitely didn't help my sour mood), I find myself fighting for joy, struggling to be thankful. Lord, give me a thankful heart, and let me not miss the stunning wonder and beauty of Your handiwork~

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall My word be that goes out from My mouth; it shall not return to Me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it." ~Isaiah 55:10-11

Brutal Honest, Beautiful Reality ~ Part 3

Brutal Honesty...Introduction

Brutal Honesty...Part I

Brutal Honesty...Part 2



BRUTAL HONESTY - I am not a very good wife. I honor neither Christ nor my husband on a consistent basis, and my outward behavior is more often marked by selfish tendencies rather than humility.


If I was to sit and jot down the ways in which I'm not a very good wife, I would have a seemingly neverending laundry list of issues. The more I ponder, the longer the list and more overwhelmed I am by my desperate need of grace. When I reflect on the thought that I may presently or in the future be an example to other women of gracious giving and submission to my husband, I sometimes shudder at how often I fall short. That laundry list of sin issues is accompanied with the feeling that I will never be able to do enough in regard to work or keeping my home in order. My thoughts are constantly spinning with what I'm doing wrong, and the nagging guilt that I have chosen, for example, one evening to sit and relax in front of the TV rather than do the dishes. Regardless of my current work situation, regardless of whether or not I am away or at home during the day, my first priority should be taking care of the home, right? I should be able to do it all, and I am constantly beating myself up over not being able to live up to the expectations of a diligent, hard-working wife.

And in this particular season of our lives, I have not been the supportive wife my husband needs. When he is doubting, frustrated, feeling alone in the waiting game, I have continually failed to be a source of encouragement or rest. Rather than be of support to him, I feel that I only add to the struggle with my lack of patience, tendency to react to the unknown with anxiety (see previous post on the issue of control), and my overall lack of remembering the promise and hope of the Gospel on a daily basis. How an individual responds to times of uncertainty speaks volumes, and I am no exception.

"Original sin fills the 'engine' of our hearts with the 'oil' of depravity--dark, greasy, and staining everything it touches. Circumstances come along and heat the engine. When the engine is hot--when events in our lives test our hearts--whatever is in the engine spews out. The heat (the circumstances) did not fill the engine with oil, it simply revealed what was [already] in the engine..." (70)


BEAUTIFUL REALITY -
"...Your spouse was a strategic choice made by a wise and loving God. Selected by Him, for you, from the beginning of the world, your spouse is an essential part of God's rescue mission for your life. Often a spouse plays his or her part by raising the engine temperature and heating the oil. But if we're wisely honest, we realize that God is behind it all, revealing the familiar sin so that it might be overcome by amazing grace" (70-71).
~~~
"We must not ignore our sin, because it is the very context where the Gospel shines the brightest. Grace is truly amazing because of what we were saved from...The Gospel is an endless fountain of God's grace in your marriage...Without it [the Gospel], you cannot see God, yourself, or your marriage for what they truly are" (16, 25).

The above quotes are from a book I was compelled to read during our engagement back in 2007. When Sinners Say I Do focuses on marriage as the context in which the Gospel shines, and really brings to the forefront our daily, continual need for mercy and grace towards one another. I have been tempted in recent days and weeks to pull it off the shelf and give it another read...
Do you ever stop and wonder how much your heart and role in your own marriage relationship would be drastically altered if this was your renewed perspective? If my daily focus is this "endless fountain of God's grace" as I see in and through my husband, it's mind-boggling to think of how things would be different. If my relationship to my husband begins and is fueled by the grace of the Gospel, would I be so intent on coming home and complaining that I have to cook dinner, or muttering under my breath about the fork that's in the sink rather than the dishwasher? Would I be so intent on having my way by immediately getting into my pajamas (before 6:00pm mind you) and grumbling for half the evening about all of the chores that need to be done? Or...would I come home eager to see my husband and spend time with him, overwhelmed with thanks that I have a wonderful husband waiting for me when I walk through the front door? And about those chores...would my perspective on even those be renewed? Thanks that I have a place to call home, thanks for the very good gifts we have undeservedly received from the Lord... That laundry list is erased and replaced when my heart is transformed and renewed by the beautiful reality of how privileged I am to be my husband's wife.

When I get into this horrible mood about all of the work I'm not doing, guilting myself over the things I haven't accomplished during a particular day rather than resting after what all I actually have done, my husband will often ask me, "To whom are you comparing yourself? Is there someone specific, some perfect wife you know, or have you made up in your mind a non-existent ideal woman?" Oh, he knows me well... He asks because he knows. He asks because he knows it does my heart good for my negative, ungodly thoughts about myself to be stopped dead in their tracks. His rhetorical question needs no answer because it speaks for itself:
"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." (Galatians 1:10)

My husband does not judge me merely on my works, but looks past the external and sees the roots of my negative thoughts. He quickly discerns when my heart is absorbed with self-centered efforts rather than on the grace and good gifts of God. It's no wonder that the husband and wife relationship is intended to mirror that of Christ and His Church; such a parallel is evident in how my husband relates to me as one whom he chose and loves in spite of my faults:
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church." (Ephesians 5:22-29)

I pray that I daily outdo my husband in acts of love and grace. My prayers have been transformed recently as I have been reminded of the beauty of Gospel-centered marriage. Am I a bad wife? Well, I am a selfish sinner, but I am no longer mastered by that sin. I no longer live for myself, with my own desires and selfish motives in mind. What does and will make me a good wife is for Christ to be my motivation. I want to love and serve my husband in an understanding way, overflowing with grace and patience. I want to enjoy him everyday as the gift he is to my life, enjoy a coffee date with no timeline on our conversation, watch an evening movie without obsessing over the dusty bookshelf.... I want others to see the love Christ has for His Bride in us... Lord, be gracious and may that be true of us according to Your goodness and mercy.

"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 1:1-4)
~~~
"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:12-13)

Wordless Wednesday (aka Nerds Dressed Alike Again!)

Favorite Photo(s) Friday - Nali & Her Babies

Brutal Honesty, Beautiful Reality ~ Part 2

Brutal Honesty... Introduction

Brutal Honesty...Part I

BRUTAL HONESTY - I desire control. And the reason I desire control is because I do not trust God with the present nor for the future.

On a very practical level, the emotional reactions are anxiety and worry - the "typical" stress over anything unexpected. I tend to worry if plans fall through, if everything I have precisely laid out on my calendar gets jumbled up due to the unexpected, and my stress level skyrockets when I'm faced with not knowing what's next on the short or long-term agenda. This fear of the unknown manifests itself in panic, pouring all of my energy into planning as much as possible down to the most minute detail, and then being completely reactionary when things don't follow my expectations. I have this constant desire, dare I say need, to have all events planned for and feel like I must have a handle on things. The more I have a firm grip on things, the more I can dictate the outcome and not be thrown off guard by anything unanticipated.

So what is this desire, this need to be in control of the events in my life, whether big or small? Is it merely just me being organized and wanting to keep things in order, or is there something deeper triggering these continual patterns of anxiety and worry? Feeling anxiety over the unexpected is natural and normal...right?

“Woe to him who strives with Him who formed him, a pot among earthen pots!
Does the clay say to Him who forms it, ‘What are You making?’or ‘Your work has no handles’?" (Isaiah 45:9)

The truth of the matter is...I don't trust the One who provides and sustains. I want to be the one in control rather than being molded by the Potter. I don't trust that He knows the future, the plans and all of the outcomes.

BEAUTIFUL REALITY -

"I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of Me in their hearts, that they may not turn from Me. I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all My heart and all My soul." (Jeremiah 32:40-41)

~~~~

"And he said to his disciples, 'Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you. Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.'" (Luke 12:22-32)

~~~~

Beautiful seems like an understatement... God, the Creator of the universe and every intricate detail therein, pursues me in Christ. In this glorious pursuit, He works all things according to His will and my good. I should trust Him, the One who works according to His perfect plan, because He knows me better than I know myself, He has rescued me from the darkness in Christ, has called me His own, and even when I fail to trust Him, Scripture says that He rejoices in doing me good. The God of the universe rejoices in doing me good...in doing you good if you share in His glorious inheritance.

~~~~

His grace is cheapened when I insist that my control is necessary.

But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay,

and You are our potter; we are all the work of Your hand. (Isaiah 64:8)

God is replaced on the throne in my heart when I demand to have a hand in all events and potential outcomes.

"Make me to know Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths.

Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation;

for You I wait all the day long." (Psalm 25:4-5)

Ponder the freedom and rest that comes from knowing His provision and sovereignty! Trusting Him does not mean we negate being responsible and wise in our planning and decision-making; I don't resort to being a sloth because I'm claiming that He is the One in control. On the contrary,

"Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. . . .

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." (Proverbs 16:3, 9)

~~~~

I have had to examine my own heart countless times during this quiet, post-seminary season of life. Am I really trusting in Him for the vast unknown that lies ahead, or am I secretly (or vocally) insisting that I should have a handle on all of the plans in case this or that just doesn't work out? Oh, sinner that I am... There are days when I have been hit hard with the reality of this ever-present idol of control. I have tasted the sweetness and freedom of trusting Him with each detail of my life, and yet there are still days when I live as "an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea" (Lewis). The amount of control I demand over my own life speaks volumes about whether or not I am dwelling in the joy and satisfaction which comes from knowing Christ and trusting Him. I trust and I believe, and I want to trust and believe every day I am given breath, that He is worthy of glory and He is the One who knows and determines what is best for my life.

“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom..."

Wordless Wednesday (aka Nerds Who Randomly Dress Alike!)

Brutal Honesty, Beautiful Reality ~ Part I

BRUTAL HONESTY - I don't actually read my Bible. Therefore, especially in those moments when I need it most, I don't remember it and don't really believe.

Yes, you read correctly... I don't read my Bible on any consistent basis. I have not committed my heart, my thoughts, my attention to reading. I could easily take pride in the vast amount of attention I have given to reading the greatest books on theology, the church fathers, biblical counseling, and even ones on the very topic of devotion! But not the Bible. When someone asks me questions like, "Why did Christ die?" or "If God is so good, why is there evil in the world?" I am quick to spout off something else I've read about what Scripture says. My initial and heartfelt response is not:

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation" (Rom 5:6-11).

Rather than reading and unpacking such incredible, glorious truth from Scripture (take a moment to read that passage - it is packed with the truth of our hope and assurance!), I revert to other sources that will hopefully impress people and make me sound like I know what I'm talking about. I skim through my mental bookshelf and pick out what sounds best for the situation or topic at hand.
Then, on an even more personal note, when I have gone through a difficult time in recent months, my own "dark night of the soul," I have found myself empty...empty of joy, attempting to draw from a dry well that has not been filled with the water that quenches my thirst and satisfies my weary soul.

BEAUTIFUL REALITY -

“Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters;
and he who has no money, come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.

Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,

and your labor for that which does not satisfy?

Listen diligently to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food.

Incline your ear, and come to Me; hear, that your soul may live;

and I will make with you an everlasting covenant." (Isaiah 55:1-3)

~~~~

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek You;

my soul thirsts for You; my flesh faints for You,

as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

So I have looked upon You in the sanctuary, beholding Your power and glory.

Because Your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise You.

So I will bless You as long as I live; in Your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,

and my mouth will praise You with joyful lips,

when I remember You upon my bed,

and meditate on You in the watches of the night;

for You have been my help,

and in the shadow of Your wings I will sing for joy.

My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me." (Psalm 63:1-8)

What does He promise if I simply come to Him? He promises to satisfy my longing, to bring real and lasting comfort to an otherwise anxious heart. He is the hope and joy and source of salvation I am so quick to proclaim, yet I have failed to believe in the middle of a mediocre workday or when all good seems lost from a difficult situation. I have had to ask myself a very hard and honest question: do I really believe what I say I believe? Whether I am counseling other women, or lying awake at night with my mind racing, do I really believe?

I have not believed because I have not drawn near to Him. I have not devoted my heart and mind to that which was written for me, for you, for the Church. Should I be terribly surprised at how I feel and what the honest status of relationship is with Him if I have not been drawing from the well of living water? Is it any wonder that I am so prone to doubt and worry if I am not pouring over Scripture as one satisfying herself with rich food and healing balm? This has been a significant realization for me: my Father delights to do me good! And the more I know Him, the more I will see and really believe and accept the good He is doing even when I am oblivious to it.

Brutal Honesty, Beautiful Reality - Introduction

While my husband and I have both walked through some dark times, we can also look back and see the overwhelming, countless ways in which the Lord has so richly blessed us. From attending a Christian college (the context in which I first really believed and embraced God's sovereignty), to having a college pastor fervently pleading with us to find our satisfaction in Christ alone, to being blessed with the opportunity to attend one of the greatest seminaries in the country (not just based on academics, but because of their commitment to the authority and sufficiency of Scripture), we are truly blessed by the formative seasons we have been given. After years of being in such contexts, and now that the flurry of graduation and holiday festivities have passed, there is a sense in which things have come to a grinding halt. I no longer have the comfort of a context in which I can depend on the wisdom of others. My heart has been laid bare, and I have been forced to examine myself for who I really am removed from the godly influences on whom I have so often relied upon.

~~~

I was given a strong dose of brutal honesty a couple of weeks ago when my husband and I had a very candid conversation about where I am in my relationship with the Lord. After becoming so comfortable with relying on the wisdom and teaching of others, I was faced with the painful truth that my relationship with God has lacked any real intimacy; I have become more content in relying on the words of men rather than relying on Him. And while godly influences are good and encouraging, I had to confess that I have become increasingly less dependent on God Himself. Even good things can so easily become idols, taking over His rightful place on the throne in our hearts. This lacking of real intimacy and trust has very practical implications, ones that are difficult for me to admit, which leads me to this post...

~~~

I will be devoting the next several posts here to a four-part series on this "Brutal Honesty, Beautiful Reality" I have been grappling with in recent days. It is much easier to vaguely admit that we are all sinners rather than seeking real heart transformation and repentance that only come after specific confession of specific sin. Even I, a young woman who has been in wonderful churches and who has now received a masters degree from a leading seminary, need to be faced with the bitter reality of my own sin so that I might taste once again the sweetness of being satisfied in Christ alone. You might be shocked, you might be encouraged; I have no idea how people perceive me on a daily practical level. My hope is the latter, that you will be encouraged and compelled to examine your own heart, asking yourself the questions that might be difficult to face depending on where you are really at in your own relationship with Him.

~~~

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

~

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

I the Lord search the heart and test the mind... (Jeremiah 17:9-10)

~

Be killing sin or it will be killing you. (John Owen, Of the Mortification of Sin in Believers)

Snow!

"I want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow!"

~

It's just too bad that I'm having to take mediocre camera phone pics from one of our office windows, rather than curled up on the couch at home with husband and dogs taking pictures of the white surrounding us. It truly is a beautiful snow today, although I can't say the same for the roads around the city~

~Celebrating Our Second Year~

'Cause what I really want to say

Is what the sun would say to the sky,

For giving it a place to come alive,

But my words get in the way

Of what I really want to say...
(Chapman)

~~~

Happy Anniversary to my husband, a man I don't deserve but was given by God's grace,
my best friend, the one I'd rather stay up into the late hours talking with more than anyone else,
my groom, the one who is wholeheartedly committed to reflecting the love Christ has for His Bride,
the man who aims for my joy in Christ over earthly comforts,
the man who reminds me that I was created by the One who has named me His daughter...
I so often lose sight of who I am in Christ, but God in His love and grace has given me a husband who continually helps me to remember.

Blank Pages

Brand new, crisp, untouched calendars excite me. Every year at work, just before the holiday season, our office coordinator sends out the email containing our calendar options for the upcoming year. From spiral to journal, pocket-sized to 8.5x11, I go back and forth trying to decide on the perfect planner. And then, after two months of anxiously waiting, the little book arrives at my desk. Although not to the full extent, it's almost as thrilling as cracking open the pages of a new journal. I flip through the clean, unmarked pages wondering what they will hold in the days, weeks, and months ahead. What will happen next week? What will happen in May or August or October that has not yet been written down? Only the Lord knows what will fill the that black planner tucked away in my bag. Here's to a new year and blank pages. May I trust Him daily, may I trust Him only, with both the planned and the unexpected...

~

O Lord,

Length of days does not profit me

Except the days are passed in Thy presence,

In Thy service, to Thy glory.

Give me a grace that precedes, follows, guides,

Sustains, sanctifies, aids every hour,

That I may not be one moment apart from Thee,

But may rely on Thy Spirit

To supply every thought,

Speak in every word,

Direct every step,

Prosper every work,

Build up every mote of faith,

And give me a desireto show forth Thy praise;

Testify Thy love, advance Thy kingdom.
I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,

With Thee, O Father as my harbour,

Thee, O Son, at my helm,

Thee O Holy Spirit, filling my sails. . . .

Give me Thy grace to sanctify me,

Thy comforts to cheer,

Thy wisdom to teach,

Thy right hand to guide,

Thy counsel to instruct,

Thy law to judge,

Thy presence to stabilize.

May Thy fear be my awe,

Thy triumphs my joy.

(Valley of Vision)

~

Still Alive

After graduation, family in town, Christmas, and my husband finally on the mend after being sick for over a week, I think I'm returning to some sense of normalcy (whatever that is!). I hope to have some time later in the week or this weekend to post an actual entry. I hope everyone had a wonderful, memorable, precious Christmas (especially all of my Texans who were graced with snow!), and have a fun and safe New Year celebration!

We do not weep alone...

Taken directly from the Pastor's blog:
Dear church,
In the first chapter of Philippians, the Apostle Paul writes that whatever imprisonments, beatings and trials he may have suffered, they all “serve to advance the gospel” of Jesus Christ. We implore you to keep the gospel of Christ as the main focus as we walk with Matt and Lauren through this trial.
On Tuesday, Dr. Barnett informed Matt and Lauren that the findings of the pathology report revealed a malignant brain tumor that was not encapsulated. The surgery to remove the tumor, the doctor said, was an extremely positive first step; however, because of the nature of the tumor, he was not able to remove all of it.
Matt, who is being released from the hospital today, is meeting with a neuro-oncologist this week to outline the next steps of the recovery process. There is a range of treatment possibilities but the exact course of action has not yet been determined. He will continue outpatient rehab.
The Lord is calling Matt and Lauren and The Village Church body to endure this trial. It will be a challenging road for Matt, his family and our church body. The gospel is our hope and the Lord is our strength. Matt and Lauren continue to find solace and hope in Christ. They weep facing this trial, but not as those without hope and perspective. The gospel clarifies their suffering and promises more of Christ through it all.
You have done a wonderful job respecting the family, and we ask that you continue to do this. They are processing all of this together and need you to give them precious space. Please do not visit them at their house unless personally invited by the Chandlers. The best way to serve the family is to continue to be faithful in prayer. Specifically, pray for the following:
~Wisdom for all the coming decisions
~Strength and peace to endure
~The kids’ (Audrey, Reid and Norah) hearts; pray the Lord is merciful as they process and that their little hearts do not grow embittered
~The Chandlers and The Village would suffer well because of the gospel and for the sake of Christ’s name
As you hurt and weep for the family, do not do it alone. Gather with your home group and with other believers in homes and pray together. This is a time to walk together with others and to endure this trial in community.


(Photo courtesy of: Them Chandlers Blog)

Hard to Believe!

More details and pictures to come! Still savoring the last bit of sweet time with family for now~

Song for The Last Friday of our Last Week of our Last Semester

My Heart is Filled with Thankfulness

~

My heart is filled with thankfulness to Him who bore my pain

Who plumbed the depths of my disgrace and gave me life again

Who crushed my curse of sinfulness and clothed me in His light

And wrote His law of righteousness with power upon my heart

~
My heart is filled with thankfulness to Him who walks beside

Who floods my weaknesses and strengths and causes fear to fly

Whose every promise is enough for every step I take

Sustaining me with arms of love and crowning me with grace

~
My heart is filled with thankfulness to Him who reigns above

Whose wisdom is my perfect peace whose every thought is love

For every day I have on earth is given by the King

So I will give my life my all to love and follow Him

(Keith & Kristyn Getty)

The Unsung Hero and His Hatchet

Our very last finals week just would not be complete without some crazy, unexpected event taking place! I received a call from my husband late yesterday afternoon, a conversation that started with, "Boy, have I had an interesting afternoon..."


He proceeded to tell me the most bizarre story, one still surreal to both of us. He was on his way home from school yesterday afternoon, had simply gone to drop off a book at the library, when the event occurred. He was simply driving down Lexington Road when the driver in front of him suddenly hit the brakes, followed by the car veering completely off the road, up on the sidewalk, and into a telephone pole. My husband managed to swerve out of the car's way just in time to avoid being hit, and parked his own car in someone's driveway. He approached the car to ensure that the driver was okay, only to discover that the man behind the wheel was slumped over and having a seizure. My husband beat in the window in attempt to get the man's attention, but he was completely unresponsive. The driver was apparently slumped over enough, and had enough pressure on the pedal with his foot still, that the car suddenly started going in reverse. With my husband still banging on the window trying to get him to stop, the car accelerated into the street and hit another vehicle. He motioned for the woman in the other car to put on her parking brake since the man's car was still in gear and to prevent the car from continuing on into the street and more oncoming traffic. With the car locked, there was no way for my husband to both get to the man who was still leaned over in his seat and seizing and to turn off the car ignition. In quick response, he kicked on the passenger window but it didn't budge. He then ran to his Mustang, and pulled a hatchet from the trunk. Using the blunt end of the hatchet, he managed to break the passenger window, and reached in to move the man off the gear shift and turn off the car. The woman who was sitting in her parked car this whole time (probably in stunned shock) called an ambulance, and my husband was able to reposition the man in the meantime until he came out of his seizure. The ambulance arrived as the man was coming to, and asked him a series of questions regarding his medical history. Although still rather delirious, he was able to tell them that yes, he has a history of seizures, and no, he has not sought treatment for them. The police arrived soon after, and took a full report from both my husband and the woman who inevitably prevented this man's car from going further into the busy street. When my husband told them about the hatchet, their response was, "Who drives around with a hatchet in the trunk? That's awesome!" His parents raised him well~


The whole event could have taken a more horrific turn on so many levels. The man could have swerved into oncoming traffic initially rather than into the telephone pole - my husband could have been hit if he had not reacted so quickly in his own car - the man could have caused serious problems while behind the wheel had he accelerated in reverse into the middle of the street - he could have had much more severe issues occur had my husband not been able to get to him quickly and reposition his head until the seizure had passed... The list goes on and on. Not only are we grateful for the fact that things went precisely as they did, the timing of everything being set just so that nothing more occurred, but also reminded of how quickly an unforeseen event can occur. This young man was simply driving down Lexington Road on what would have otherwise been a normal Tuesday afternoon. Little did he and others around him know that a sudden seizure would cause all of this... I was really proud of how composed and in control my husband was of the whole situation, as he was able to prevent an unfortunate event from turning into something much, much worse~


The moral of the story? Keep a blunt object in the trunk of your car at all times! Okay, maybe not, but it clearly came in handy! I know he would not want me to boast in him, but I really was impressed to hear how my husband responded to the situation and to this man. I don't think I would have been half as composed and clear-headed in a similar situation, and it gives me great comfort to know how he reacted in the midst of such an event~

Thanks on This Friday

As I write this, my husband is in our "home office" glued to the computer. He is working hard to finish this last semester well. I have been so encouraged and proud of him this past week as he has demonstrated such diligence in getting everything completed. I know that I would be tempted to settle for mediocre if I was the one faced with such a massive amount of work in the last semester, but not him. He is finishing well, finishing strong, and I could not be more encouraged by how hard he has been working this week.
~
I am also compelled to give a word of honor regarding something he was able to do this past Sunday. Our church has been given a very unique opportunity in recent months to minister the Gospel. There is a neighboring apartment complex which has recently experienced new residents coming in. Many of these are refugees from other countries: Nepal, Iraq, etc. This particular apartment community is an inexpensive and rather safe place to live, so there has been a recent influx of these individuals and their families coming to live there. Since the complex is practically a stone's throw away from our church building, the opportunity to minister was readily apparent. We have donated clothes especially for those who do not have sufficient coats for a Louisville winter, offered to teach ESL to those seeking help, and found other means of ministering grace to those in need. One significant outlet for ministry we have started is referred to as "Discovering Grace," an hour of teaching and fellowship every Sunday afternoon. Our small groups take turns leading, and each week an individual from that small group is asked to speak on a specific topic related to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My husband was asked to teach this past Sunday, and the task was rather overwhelming: teach on the nature of the Bible and how it came to be in 20 minutes. He studied and prepared for two weeks, grappling with the task of communicating such an in-depth topic to individuals who are mostly unbelievers and still learning English. I also personally knew that he was somewhat nervous since he has not had an opportunity to teach in over four years, so he was both out of practice and somewhat out of his element teaching to an unfamiliar audience. In the end, however, he did better than I could have anticipated! As our small group leader told him afterwards (our small group leader who is also an elder at our church, and professor of New Testament and Greek at Southern), he was warm, winsome, gracious, discerning, and communicated in an understandable way a topic that could otherwise be confusing or overwhelming. From noting amazing facts such as 40 authors contributing over the course of 1500 years to the canon of Scripture, to providing them the page numbers in their paperback New Testaments of where the text was located that they might follow along, I could not have anticipated those 20 minutes being any better. This was the first time I have been able to witness him teach since we have married, and I was more thankful than ever to be his wife. Proclaiming the message of the cross truly is his calling and passion, and I was blessed to see his gifts utilized in such a unique way.

More to come on the topic of school, but we attended our very last classes at Southern Seminary yesterday. I left my evening class with a deep sense of gratitude, reflecting a bit on the past four years, as I walked to my car. These past four years have been so much more than working towards a degree. My dependence on the Lord is deeper, worship is more rich, and I am so much more mindful of the truth and sufficiency of the Word. As a 23-year-old moving 17 hours away from everything I had considered as home, I was oblivious to all the Lord would do between then and now. I am overwhelmed by His grace, provision, hand of mercy, sovereignty over the blessings and the trials, and my heart is filled with gratitude. More reflection to come as graduation draws ever nearer...

~

And on another note of thanks and sheer excitement, this beautiful face is going to be at our front door in just FOUR DAYS!!

We can't wait to see you, dear friend!!