157 Days ~ Wisdom from a Newlywed

In her ongoing blog, Christine is answering questions geared toward her first month of marriage. I was so moved, encouraged, and challenged by her response to a particular question that I asked her permission to post her response here:

• Anon. asked:Just wondering... but as another self-described "independent
  woman," I find myself wanting to know which parts of the engaged/married
  experience (so far) have been the most trying for a woman who had been used to
  making her own decisions in every area without having to submit to another human
  being in each of them. I think it will be very difficult for me to adjust to
  that, given that I've been living on my own since 1999. Have you experienced
  frustration or fear or similar feelings along the way? Has it been harder or
  easier than you expected to live in Biblical "coupledom"? Or is it, frankly, too
  soon to tell?
• Christine responds:A month or so before I left the United States
  for Germany I was reading over my vows and was hit by this portion:
  I
  promise, by God's grace, as He enables me to submit to you and to obey you in
  everything, as I do to the Lord. I recognize you as my head, even as Christ is
  the head of the church. In so doing I resolve to put my trust in God and not
  give way to fear. The weight of this statement overwhelmed and humbled me to the
  point of tears. I realized then that I could not give into fear because
  ultimately my trust was not in Mike but in God. Mike will eventually fail me and
  disappoint me and I will do the same to him! At that moment I realized that I did
  have fear in my life: fear that Mike would disappoint me and not live up to an
  unreasonably high standard. Could I place myself under him knowing this?! But who
  am I? I, too, am a sinner. I, too, will disappoint. To expect more of Michael
  than his human limitations would be to make him god. And if I clung to him in
  desperation and he failed me, my world would fall apart leading to resentment
  and then bitterness. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." This is what
  drove me to tears: this vision of the monster I could become, gripped by the
  sins of idolatry and bitterness, wounding others because I myself had been
  wounded. It was at this moment that I knew I had to reject this idolatry and
  cling to God and his provisions and perfect goodness. When Mike somehow
  disappoints me I am now free to joyfully show him grace and forgiveness. Instead
  of resenting Mike, I hope in Christ and repent of my own sinful behavior. I am
  thankful that this transformation of the mind took place before our wedding. As
  a result, it has been an incredibly smooth transition into living together in
  grace and love.