Chip

My husband and I never really knew Chip Stam, but he was one of those rare individuals who knew no stranger. Chip was a professor at Southern Seminary, pastor and worship leader at Clifton Baptist Church, and a man who radiated the love and joy of Christ. Absolutely radiated. Through testimonies from those closer to him, and even through my own limited interactions, it was evident to all that he was a man whose love for Jesus was infectious and who sincerely delighted in worshipping our King. Even after his initial diagnosis in 2007, Chip faced his battle with cancer smiling and knowing that the victory was already won. He was diligent in keeping friends near and far updated through an online journal, and his wife posted the letter yesterday informing loved ones of his passing on Sunday: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/carlstam. In her letter, she references his favorite passage from the Heidelberg Catechism:

Q. What is your only comfort in life and in death?
A. That I am not my own, but belong—body and soul, in life and in death—to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ.
He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood, and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil. He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in heaven: in fact, all things must work together for my salvation.
Because I belong to him, Christ, by his Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for him.

~~~

My clearest memory of Chip was from three years ago, roughly a year after his diagnosis. One of mine and my husband's favorite worship groups, Indelible Grace, was in Louisville and had a concert at Clifton Baptist. We happened to sit in the pew right next to Chip and his lovely wife. At this time in his cancer journey, Chip was wearing a brace which wrapped around his entire torso and was held in place by velcro. I will never hear "Come Ye Sinners" without thinking of Chip keeping in time with the music as if he was a one-man band: tapping his foot and drumming the beat on his brace. (I'm pretty sure I heard him messing with the velcro straps a few times, too!) Such a memory really holds in my mind who he was and how others saw him: a man who loved to worship, no matter the trial, and did so with overwhelming joy.

~~~

In following the news of his passing yesterday, several songs from Keith and Kristyn Getty were running through my mind throughout the day. Chip was always one of their biggest fans, and they were huge fans of his in return. One of the last memories of him being out in public was at the Christmas concert they held at Southern's Alumni Chapel just this past December. We were in the balcony, and Chip had situated himself on the front row. The Gettys made it a special point to acknowledge his presence there, and to honor him as a man who had so richly encouraged and supported them over the years.

~~~

The man with the infectious joy, the one who absolutely radiated the joy and love of Christ, is now with the King. While his family and close friends are sorrowful over such a great loss, those of us who are in Christ rejoice, and at times even weep, to think of him beholding the One whom He so fervently loved and honored with his life. Glory and praise to God for giving us such an example even if for a brief time. Chip has entered that eternal rest, and is now worshipping in perfect song:

There is a higher throne than all this world has known,

Where faithful ones from ev'ry tongue will one day come.

Before the Son we'll stand, made faultless through the Lamb;

Believing hearts find promised grace—Salvation comes.

Hear heaven's voices sing; their thund'rous anthem rings

Through em'rald courts and sapphire skies, their praises rise.

All glory, wisdom, pow'r, strength, thanks, and honor are

To God our King, who reigns on high forevermore.

And there we'll find our home, our life before the throne;

We'll honor Him in perfect song where we belong.

He'll wipe each tear-stained eye as thirst and hunger die.

The Lamb becomes our Shepherd King; we'll reign with Him.

(Keith & Kristyn Getty)

Going Under the Laser

While I was called brave for going out in public so soon after, I can't say that I'm brave enough to post pictures of the procedure. Maybe I'll be brave enough one of these days, but not today! In the meantime, I decided to post this picture that one of my best friend's tweaked just a few days ago (and because it's one of my current favorites of my adorable husband!):

So what exactly was this procedure I had just over three weeks ago?

First, a little back story that led up to this big decision:

Almost two years ago, my husband accompanied me to my bi-annual appointment at the Tuberous Sclerosis Clinic. Upon entering the waiting area and signing, we couldn't help but notice a woman sitting in one of the chairs. She was there alone. This isn't the type of clinic where I have seen patients there by themselves, so this woman and the absence of a friend or family member struck me. Not only was she at the clinic alone, but I also momentarily observed her complexion. If you're one who knows me well enough, you would see the large red areas on my jawline and cheek. It's an area that gets more puffy in the heat of summertime, and hurts considerably if I have even the slightest breakout on the skin there. Well...that red is what covered this woman's entire face. It made me sad to see her in the waiting room by herself...

In comparison to testimonies I have read and people whom I have met personally, I have it easy. Considering the common symptoms and how much more painful (emotionally and physically) things could be, I count myself fortunate to only have some of the more mild manifestations of TS. I go every five years to have an MRI of my brain, and a scan of my chest and kidneys to ensure that all is okay internally. Externally speaking, I have the primary skin manifestations which have gradually worsened over time. With each passing year, I notice the overall condition of my skin worsening ever so slightly, and the redness becomes more noticeable (and painful depending on where it's located).

While some claim to hardly notice the imperfections, I see my skin in the mirror every morning and night. Some days I would consider myself fairly content, but most days I look and wonder what if. What if I had a more smooth complexion, areas that weren't so sensitive to the slightest irritation...what if my face wasn't so red and textured...what if I had some guarantee that my skin would not continue to worsen over time? If I'm not hearing the Gospel, if I'm not hearing that I was beautifully and wonderfully created, I'm prone to the downward spiral of self-pity. And this is where my husband comes in - my nurturing, comforting, truth-speaking husband. My husband calls me beautiful not to merely make me feel better about myself, but because he believes it. He believes that beauty is more than skin-deep and that, even with imperfections I can do little to nothing about, I am lovely. I struggle to hear that on the days when I'm not clinging to the Truth that I am created in the image of God. My husband desires that I see myself as he sees me (and as HE sees me), and that my imperfections are not cause for me to think less of myself. With all of this at the foundation of his encouragement, he has continued to support any decision I make regarding treatment options. He knows that anything considered "cosmetic" would be a leap for me, a step of faith both physically and emotionally. After many months of thinking through my options (and often over-analyzing all that "cosmetic" means in my head), I decided to schedule a consultation with the plastic surgeon affiliated with my dermatologist's practice.

After a very comfortable discussion with the doctor, I was even more certain that this particular procedure would be a good option. Not only was she understanding of my concern that it wouldn't work, that I would not see the change I was hoping for, but she also understood my concerns regarding the cost and frustration of dealing with insurance. She gave me plenty of information upfront so that I would know all the facts about what I was going to have done. So just a couple of weeks after the consultation, I scheduled the procedure date. The doctor performed what is referred to as a CO2 laser procedure, one of the primary treatment options for those who experience the skin manifestations of Tuberous Sclerosis. The laser literally vaporizes the skin, as well as collapsing blood vessels. I will spare all the details, but she went layer by layer on my skin for the larger areas, some of which were much more deep than others. While I was awake during the procedure, I was far from coherent! We laugh now that I don't remember all that much from the first two days following the procedure (and that I scared two little boys while walking out to the parking garage!), what with the medications they gave me, the exhaustion I had from anxiety leading up to the procedure, and the simple fact of my body healing after something so intense.

Leading up to the day, we were a little overwhelmed by all of the post-op instructions we were given. There were very set steps, especially during the first week, for healing fully. From cold gauze treatments every three hours to applying two different ointments to my face (affectionately referred to as "the goopies") to elevating my head when I slept to not being in even indirect sunlight...we were overwhelmed. But little did we know just how tiring those first couple of days would be. Because I was so helpless during those first 48 hours or so, I was all the more overwhelmed and grateful for my husband's care. He slept a total of three hours during the first three days, all for the sake of ensuring that I was comfortable and that we were following the post-op instructions. He handled all of the cold gauze treatments, applied the ointments on my face, and served me the food that was brought to us from our dear church friends. Once I began feeling more like myself, I realized the impact of how much my husband had done. I was amazed and moved to tears numerous times during the week following the procedure as I thought of all he had to done for the sake of my comfort as I slowly began to heal.

I continue to heal and wonder about the end result. I see small steps, but I'm also a near-sighted individual who lacks patience. At my followup appointments to come I will have a better idea of how the doctor thinks things are going and if I will possibly need additional spot treatments down the road. The resurfacing of my skin is already noticeable, but the other more intense areas will simply take longer. This procedure has taught me alot about myself and where my heart is. I wouldn't recommend this kind of thing to just anyone, simply because there is an internal struggle with whether or not an individual puts misplaced value in the results. I know that I won't be a better person because my skin is pretty. I know that I won't be more valuable as a person or to others because of a "flawless" complexion. What I do know is that I am at a place where I was able to take advantage of a wonderful opportunity. More than anything, this process of healing provided a time for real and sweet rest, as well as growing even closer to my husband. The first time I shed a tear wondering if this procedure would be worth it, his response was, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." He has always faithfully encouraged and pointed my heart towards Christ, and this experience has been no exception. He makes me want to be brave~

Crocheting & a Little Lesson in Sanctification

I finally finished it! After months of work, setting it aside, coming back, working some more, setting it aside, etc., I finished my very first crochet project. I knew back in...August that I wanted to make this baby blanket for my best friend in celebration of her daughter's birth. October rolled around, and the blanket I planned to completely surprise her with when I visited remained unfinished. After six long months, the blanket was taken to the post office for delivery (and I still managed to pull off the surprise!).

Much to my own surprise, this little endeavor wasn't just another experiment with a new craft in my hands. I learned more than I would have ever anticipated.

Do you want to know a secret about me...? The secret is this: I am not a disciplined person... At all. I have a natural tendency to do just enough to get by when faced with a task or new project. I know my natural strengths, put forth that much effort, and set it aside the minute I'm faced with the next big step of moving beyond my initial strength and diving into a new challenge. This has happened at some point with virtually every subject or art I have set my mind to: certain spiritual disciplines, piano, vocal training, schoolwork, and various other crafts I have attempted. When faced with a challenge, I simply set it aside and return to that which I'm more comfortable with and naturally inclined toward. (And this is why I will forever strive to encourage young people to press on when faced with new challenges beyond their natural abilities - this advice coming from a woman who regularly kicks herself in the pants for not persevering when I studied piano all those years ago!)

When I began working the very first row of this baby blanket pattern, I simply was not getting it. I couldn't see the difference in a single vs. double crochet, my hands fumbled all over the yarn and hook, and I found very little enjoyment in the project before me. On a number of occasions, I was tempted to pack it all up and redirect my creativity back to scrapbooking. However, through much prayer, I kept pushing through. I knew I had to finish this blanket: not just for my best friend and her precious baby girl (although they were, of course, of utmost importance!!), but for myself as well. I learned anew the very rich benefit there is to be discovered when we push ourselves beyond our natural talents or abilities. To this day, I regret not possessing the discipline within to continue studying piano. What do I have to show for it now? An early-intermediate understanding of how to play that was stopped short all because of my lack of perseverance. This blanket was GOOD for me, and a completely unanticipated time of growth in my relationship with the Lord. Even crafts as simple as crocheting a baby blanket for a friend can serve as a means for real growth. Thank You, Lord!

~~~

Join Me in Prayer!

"In adopting we model for children and others the mercy and the justice of God.
We model mercy because we freely choose to love this child, no matter what. Many adoptions happen sight unseen. The child passes no test. He is loved freely without meeting conditions. We don’t base our choice on what we see. We love because we have been loved. This is mercy." ~J.Piper

(Photo courtesy of Pandaleidoscope)

(Photo courtesy of Pandaleidoscope)

Please pray with me this weekend for this precious family. They have been caring for the priceless little girl whose hand is pictured above off and on for the past year. Her presence has renewed their hope in the adoption process, and their daughter (in the above picture with me) has already come to see her as a little sister. If all goes accordingly, this chubby, joyful, beautiful toddler will be placed in their home on Tuesday - as in four days from now. This has been a long and painful process. They long to finally have her home, and I long for her to finally be in her forever home as well. I cannot help but reflect on the greater picture and meaning of adoption when I think of my husband and when I think of this "Panda Family." They have meant more to me than words can express, and I have witnessed this journey they have been on with both tears and eager expectation!
~
To the Panda Family: I was reading articles and sermons this morning, and came across this excerpt from a letter John Piper wrote to his wife just prior to adopting their daughter. I wanted to share it with you as it resonates with all of our prayers for you personally, for the future of your family, and for this little life that will soon come into your home:
~
"With this common conviction we will, God willing, embrace our new daughter and give ourselves, with all the might that God inspires in us, to love her into the kingdom. May the Lord establish the plans of our hearts, and bring [her] (and the future husband God already knows) into deep and lasting fellowship with Christ. May she be an ebony broach of beauty around your neck, and a crown of purity and joy on your head..."

Three Years In

"'I do' are the two most famous last words, the beginning of the end

But to lose your life for another I've heard is a good place to begin

'Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down

And I believe it's an easy price for the life that we have found

And we're dancing in the minefields

We're sailing in the storm

This is harder than we dreamed

But I believe that's what the promise is for

So when I lose my way, find me

When I loose love's chains, bind me

At the end of all my faith, till the end of all my days

When I forget my name, remind me

'Cause we bear the light of the Son of Man, so there's nothing left to fear

So I'll walk with you in the shadowlands 'til the shadows disappear

'Cause he promised not to leave us and his promises are true

So in the face of all this chaos, baby, I can dance with you

Let's going dancing in the minefields

Let's going sailing in the storm

This is harder than we dreamed

But I believe that's what the promise is for"

(from Andrew Peterson's "Dancing in the Minefields")

~~~

Our wedding anniversary falls just after everyone is ringing in the New Year, January 5th, and for that I am glad. I'm glad because the two celebrations lend themselves to much time spent reflecting on our how our marriage has been over the course of the previous year: where we've been, where we are, and where we desire to be as the journey continues on. This year is no exception as we've found ourselves having long conversations into the wee hours of the night, both reminiscing on good memories and also doing the hard work of examining our own hearts. Where I'm certain our culture - and really the whole of this fallen world apart from our Savior's redeeming work - has things wrong is centered around this truth: entering into marriage means entering into something that isn't about you. How much of what we do - the contexts we place ourselves in, the people we choose to surround ourselves with, etc. - is about what fills our selfish wants? How much of what we do and want and think has our own self-promotion (acceptance, pleasing others) or self-preservation (security, removal from the potential of people finding out who you really are) as the end goal? The mind-boggling, counter-cultural reality of Christian marriage is that you're making a promise to put another human being above your own wants and needs, all the while seeking your ultimate satisfaction together and individually in Christ alone. Embracing that and running hard after Christ together involves much heart work, the kind I would so often prefer to avoid, and many of those late-night talks. And they're all worth it. Those talks are worth lack of sleep, worth realizing that you don't have it all figured out, worth acknowledging that you were wrong and are in constant need of grace.

~

In the note I left for him on Wednesday morning, I thanked my husband for saying "I do" on that day three years ago and for saying it everyday since then. He has loved me and led me in ways I could not have hoped for, and in ways I would have never imagined were for my good. Thank you, my husband - my groom, for leading and loving me well. You love me as I am, yet continually challenge me to press into Christ all the more. Thank you for the journey thus far, and for leading me in the dance even when I stumble ~ All my love ~

Snapshots from Christmas Day

Being the big kid that I am, I was awake by 4:30am Christmas morning (partly due to a snoring dog on the floor next to our bed), but forced myself to stay in bed until 6:00am. My husband and I went downstairs and thoroughly enjoyed the breakfast he prepared before we dove into our stockings and presents~

Maia's annual jingle bells ~ She has surprisingly come to enjoy wearing the collar, and we're convinced that she likes hearing herself jingle down the hallway and up and down the stairs~

The surprise gift my dad sent to my husband ~ the gift he's wanted since he was a little boy!

When we purchased our Blu-Ray player a few weeks ago, I had just one requirement: "Beauty and the Beast" under the tree on Christmas morning, and I got it!

The Sheltie posing with her momma's annual Sheltie calendar~

Nali was beside herself (we have the video to prove it!) when we placed her new bed in the floor, and that's pretty much where she stayed the rest of the day. I challenge anyone who would argue that our dog doesn't know what Christmas is~

Christmas lunch with friends at our lead pastor's house~

A truly sweet time with our church family!

This silly girl makes us all smile!

My husband made a new friend while us ladies were cleaning up the kitchen after dinner~

Singing some Gettys music after dinner~

I'm not the only one with the family tradition of all the ladies gathering in the kitchen to cleanup after the big meal!

Oh, how I love these sweet friends!

~~~

We were feeling pretty homesick leading up to Christmas, especially since we wouldn't be seeing our family during the holidays for really the first time ever. Being asked to spend Christmas with friends from church ended up being a real treat, and made us so thankful for our "family" here in Louisville.

Lyrics & Reflection on Light Shining out of Darkness

Labor of Love

(from Andrew Peterson's "Behold the Lamb of God")

~

It was not a silent night

There was blood on the ground

You could hear a woman cry

In the alleyways that night

On the streets of David's town

And the stable was not clean

And the cobblestones were cold

And little Mary full of grace

With the tears upon her face

Had no mother's hand to hold

~

It was a labor of pain

It was a cold sky above

But for the girl on the ground in the dark

With every beat of her beautiful heart

It was a labor of love

~

Noble Joseph at her side

Calloused hands and weary eyes

There were no midwives to be found

In the streets of David's town

In the middle of the night

So he held her and he prayed

Shafts of moonlight on his face

But the baby in her womb

He was the Maker of the moon

He was the Author of the faith

That could make the mountains move

~

It was a labor of pain

It was a cold sky above

But for the girl on the ground in the dark

With every beat of her beautiful heart

It was a labor of love

~~~

As the Christmas season and week have so suddenly crept up on me, I'm thankful for the moments I've been afforded when I can pause and reflect. The image I've had in my head this season has been that of light shining out of the darkness, and how that night in a cold cave in Bethlehem changed the world forever. I reflect on how very harsh that night must have been: no sterile and safe hospital, no friends surrounding them in the midst of their fear, no certainty of where they would go from there...just a simple man and woman bringing this baby into the world, a baby whose birth would change the course of human history. A baby who would go on to shatter the sting and victory of death. It's hard to wrap our minds around at times, but then there are moments when we get a glimpse of the personal nature of that night. This has been a difficult year for me and my husband, and I am brought to a place of peace and rest and hope when I think on Jesus' birth. On the darkest of days, there is the hope of light breaking through the darkness. I read the familiar account of Christ's birth in Scripture, wondering if this is how Mary and Joseph felt. At the end of that dark night, they were given the gift of life in the birth of their baby, and that baby was the Giver of life Himself. What a miracle - "...the baby in her womb, He was the Maker of the moon, He was the Author of the faith that could make the mountains move."

Favorite Photo(s) Friday ~ A Night with the Gettys

(Last three photos courtesy of the Gettys' FB fan page)

~~~

The concert we attended last night was such a treat. The last time we saw Keith and Kristyn Getty in concert was a couple of years ago when they released their album "Awaken the Dawn," and I was ecstatic that they were returning to Louisville for a Christmas concert. While we weren't able to get better pictures, I did manage to meet Kristyn afterwards. She signed the songbook I purchased, and I was able to share with her (very) briefly why I have been so encouraged by their music these past few years. One of the wonderful blessings I have experienced since being in Louisville has been exposure to such rich worship music. I was telling her in our brief minutes together that as a woman who has also been compelled to lead others in corporate worship for many years, I often felt like something was missing from so much of the contemporary music we hear in churches today. After being introduced to such worship groups as the Gettys, worship leaders who share a love for timeless hymns and a commitment to music saturated with the truths of Scripture, I realized what I had often sensed was lacking. There is such a need for music in our churches to point us to the Savior - to our need of the Savior, and I have been encouraged in a very personal way by the music of Keith and Kristyn Getty. Here is just a sample of some of the music they have written (the song they left us with at the close of the concert):

Celtic Christmas Blessing
~
Now may the fragrance of His peace

Soar through your heart like the dove released

Hide in His wings oh weary, distant soul

He'll guide your spirit home

~
And may His love poured from on high

Flow to the depths of your deepest sigh

Oh come and drink from the only living stream

And on His shoulder lean

~

And may the hope that will not deceive

Through every pain bring eternal ease

There is no night that can steal the promises

His coming brings to us

~
So may His joy rush over you

Delight in the path He has called you to

May all your steps walk in Heaven's endless light

Beyond this Christmas night
~

Favorite Photo Friday ~ The 7-Year-Old Puppy

This is how I found my puppy at the end of her 7th birthday last night. Having a birthday is hard work! Goodness, I love this dog...

~

Favorite Photo Friday!

In honor of the fall season and good friends:

~

"Besides the rarity of finding someone you instantly click with, it just takes a while to get comfortable. It takes a while to be able to do nothing together, to not feel like you have to entertain. There's something re-energizing about connecting with friends who have known you for several falls.I knew this was my favorite season for a reason."

(Borrowed with permission from Tulips & Avocados)

~

I owe an actual post to the wonderful weekend I spent with my dearest friend two weeks ago, but wanted to share this sweet picture for now. I treasure her so much, and am thrilled to see her as a new mommy in just over two months from now!

Reflections on "Counting Stars"

(I've had one of those months wherein I have come to this blog time after time wondering what to write about next. Between visiting a friend, fighting seasonal sickness, and continuing to seek peace and rest during this season of uncertainty, I have had ideas but nothing that has resulted in a coherent post. I still have several saved drafts just waiting for the click of the "Publish" button, but I thought this would be a good place to begin.)

~
A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to attend a concert with some of my closest friends from church. Not only were we all feeling the need for some getaway girl time, but there was a free Andrew Peterson concert being held at a church in Lexington. We each eagerly anticipated the road trip over, and the day away did not disappoint. Already filled to the brim with fun car conversation and Mexican food, we found our seats in the church sanctuary. As the stage was being set and those friends already more familiar with his music were chatting excitedly with each other, I silently prayed that my heart would be encouraged and refreshed by the music we were about to hear. I felt like my heart was in need of such refreshing, the kind that oftentimes only music can so uniquely bring. I knew this was going to be a sweet and memorable evening when Andrew began with this song:
~

MANY ROADS

If you’ll step inside this great glass elevator

It’ll take us up above the city lights

Where the planet curves away to the equator

I wanna show you something fine

You can see the roads that we all traveled just to come here

A million minuscule decisions intertwined

Why they brought us to this moment isn’t clear

But that’s all right, we’ve got all night

CHORUS

Could it be that the many roads you took to get here

Were just for me to tell this story and for you to hear this song

And your many hopes, and your many fears

Were meant to bring you here all along

So If you’ll trust me with your time I’ll spend it wisely

I will sing to you with all I have to give

If you traveled all this way, then I will do my best to play

My biggest hits (Don’t I wish)

And if you’ll lend to me your ear I’ll sing ‘em pretty

I will never, ever sing ‘em out of tune

And I will not forget the words, of any chorus, bridge, or verse I promise you

CHORUS

‘Cause it could be that the many roads you took to get here

Were just for me to tell this story, and for you to hear this song

And your many hopes, and your many fears

Were meant to bring you here all along

BRIDGE

We've got Benjamin to play that grand piano

If we’re lucky it’s a little out of tune

We've got Andy on the guitar ‘cause I promised him

Some Texas barbecue (and disc golf too)

How I love to watch you listen to the music

‘Cause you sing to me a music of your own

As I cast out all these lines, so afraid that I will find I am alone, all alone

CHORUS

Could it be that the many roads I took to get here

Were just for you to tell this story, and for me to hear this song

And my many hopes, and my many fears

Were meant to bring me here all along

~
An indicator of truly good music is when you find yourself pondering the lyrics days later, reflecting on the weight of the message. This first song is such an example: here you have this simple, catchy song welcoming and thanking those of us in attendance, but there is so much more to what Andrew was trying to get across to us; the seemingly smallest details of our lives - events, hopes, conversations, fears - are part of the journey the Lord already intended for us. How comforting and encouraging that is to hear from a fellow brother on this journey of faith. I remember feeling this way during a concert I attended at my college church back in 2003; I walked in thirsting for encouragement, and came away pondering the music days and weeks and months later (Derek Webb's She Must and Shall Go Free tour). Little did I know that night back in 2003 that I was sitting next to my future husband, and my true feelings for him were confirmed during that concert... How little we often know about what God has in mind for us, in the most mundane and significant events. What we do know is that He will meet us in those moments when our need is great. While traveling to that Andrew Peterson concert weeks ago now, I knew my heart was in need of the kind of encouragement I often receive from music. The Lord knew my desire, and was kind to meet me there~

Favorite Photo(s) Friday!

We had a sweet gathering on Tuesday night, a first for the women's ministry at our new church home: Ladies Dessert Night!

I have been so thankful for this church merger, not only for all of the potential my husband and I see, but because the Lord has continually used this as a means to remind me of the wonderful women in my life. Tuesday night was especially sweet as it was such a picture of Titus 2 - older women encouraging and teaching the young. We heard so many wonderful stories from these women who have been wives and mothers, and who have lived in this neighborhood their entire lives. One lady told us of being five years old when her family joined the church, that all of her children were married at Franklin, and that she now lives in the house her father built in the 1930s. Another woman told us of her nine children (one girl and eight boys!), and how she and her husband were compelled to take in a child from the neighborhood who had lost his family. So much history, so much to take in and from which we can learn so much! I pray that such fellowship continues to grow in the days and months and years to come!

~We Will Never Forget~

Where were you? (Previous post from September 11, 2006)

~A Really Kindred Spirit~

"Anne tipped the vase of apple blossoms near enough to bestow a soft kiss on a pink-cupped bud, and then studied diligently for some moments longer.
'Marilla,' she demanded presently, 'do you think that I shall ever have a bosom friend in Avonlea?'
'A--a what kind of friend?'
'A bosom friend--an intimate friend, you know--a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I've dreamed of meeting her all my life. I never really supposed I would, but so many of my loveliest dreams have come true all at once that perhaps this one will, too. Do you think it's possible?'"

~L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

~

Today is my very best friend's 28th birthday, and I find that I am missing her terribly. We talked on the phone just two days ago during our normal time: she's commuting home from work, I am just pulling into a parking spot after my own long day, and we fill up the all of the time we're given right up until it's time to start cooking dinner. Even with the frequent phone calls, there are just certain days and weeks when I feel the distance more than others. We haven't actually seen each other face to face since January 5, 2008, but the hope is to remedy that in October when I hopefully visit her!

~

This past Sunday, mine and my husband's small group got together even though our leaders were out of town. Since this was a different gathering than normal, the couple who volunteered to lead decided to take a different slant on our time together. The exercise was for us to each tell the rest of the small group about ourselves, as if we were meeting each other for the first time. They asked us to tell everyone about ourselves...in sixty seconds. Well, you can guess that sixty seconds doesn't exactly allow for much time to delve into our life stories (especially for those who tend towards being long-winded...*ahem*...me), which ended up being part of their purpose in having us share. After everyone in the room had spoken, our friends then asked us to switch gears and in four minutes share the "what I didn't tell you" about ourselves. Wow. I don't know when I have heard our small group be so candid in this setting, and my husband and I found ourselves both encouraged and burdened by what we heard. We love our small group dearly, have grown to love them even more in recent months, but this was the first time I felt like I saw the "true self" behind the person. I have gotten to know a couple of women on a personal level as dear friends, but this was a definite first in the context of our small group gatherings.

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One of the personal things I mentioned was the loneliness I have been dealing with recently. Between the good days of patience and trust, and those when I find myself "fighting for joy," I have at times paused and found myself feeling very alone. Not having anything to do with my husband (my best best best friend), I have moments when I long for a friend whom I can call at a moments' notice for coffee and conversation. After our small group finished sharing, we divided up the men and women to spend more time praying for one another. As I was praying with the wonderful women around me, my heart was filled with thankfulness. In that moment, the Lord showed me just how much He has blessed us with such an honest, intimate group of friends.

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The dear friend who prayed for me during this closing time mentioned something that brought tears to my eyes. During her prayer over me, she asked the Lord to bless me with a "bosum friend, just like Anne and Diana were bosum friends, really kindred spirits." Upon mention of one of the most cherished novels in my book collection, I began thinking on the precious friendships the Lord has provided. I often refer to my best friend as "my kindred spirit," pulling the reference from our mutual affection for the Anne series. Such friends are rare, and I personally had the added blessing of her being part of the closeknit group of friends I have had since early adolescence. Because of how early on these bonds developed, I feel at times as if I have forgotten how to make such friends. But then...were any of these friendships formed out of my own doing, my own insistence at forcing a relationship that had not existed previously? When I look back on such friendships, and the ones that are developing in my life now, I can see such evidence that the Lord knits us together in more natural circumstances. He uses unanticipated events, random conversations, seemingly common interactions, and other means to cross our paths and knit us together.

~

Some friends have come and gone, some friendships have yet to be formed, but one thing I know; my best friend is irreplaceable. The miles have separated us for many years, but even distance cannot separate a friendship the Lord has so uniquely woven together.

Dear friend ~ I love you, I am thankful for you, I wish I could be there to celebrate with you. I am thrilled to witness the Lord's hand in your life as He continues to work in you, maturing you and drawing you closer in intimacy and dependence on Him. I know you're nervous and there is so much uncertainty ahead, but I have no doubt in my mind that you will be a wonderful mother. I know you will be wonderful because you know that your strength and ability only come by God's grace. I hope you have a sweet and memorable 28th birthday, and I love you "to infinity and beyond!"

~Our Source of JOY~

“It is a source of joy to the Christian, that the Crucified is now the glorified—that He rose triumphant from the grave, and ascended into glory—that he is seated at God’s right hand, to wield the scepter of the universe, and to appear as the High Priest and Intercessor of His people.
Oh! this thought has been a well-spring of joy to the believer. It has nerved his faith in many a hard fight—it has imparted sweetness to many a bitter draught.
Jesus within the veil—the changeless Friend—the sympathizing Brother—the undying, ever-living Head—who has promised to His people, all-sufficient grace now, and certain, endless glory hereafter.”
~J. MacDuff, The Throne of Grace

A "Jeremiah Moment"

(I considered labeling this a "Lamentations moment", but I didn't want to give people the idea that this is a season of lamenting, of weeping and wailing and groaning. By no means... However, I would like to consider this a "Jeremiah moment" since he was the one who possibly authored the book from whence the reference comes.)

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,“therefore I will hope in him.”
The Lord is good to those who wait for him,to the soul who seeks him.

~Lamentations 3:24-25

This third chapter of Lamentations has become my food the past two weeks, as I have continually come back to the precious reminder of how good it is to wait on the Lord. One might wonder how in the world waiting can be a good thing, how our tendency towards impatience and anxiety can be a good thing, but that's just it: we are brought into seasons of waiting in order that we might draw closer and wait upon Him.

The Lord has also been good to remind me of the sweet fellowship my husband and I are in at our church, of the sweet friends He has provided as a means of His grace. Upon arriving at work one morning last week, I read an email from one such dear friend. She wrote to me that morning for the simple purpose of letting me know that she is praying for me and my husband, and had read a devotional that brought us to mind:

~

"Waiting is much more difficult than walking. Waiting requires patience, and patience is a rare virtue. It is fine to know that God builds hudges around His people - when the hedge is looked at from the viewpoint of protection. But when the hedge is kept around one until it grows so high that he cannot see over the top, and wonders whether he is ever to get out of the little sphere of influence and service in which he is pent up, it is hard for him sometimes to understand why he may not have a larger environment - hard for him to 'brighten the corner' where he is. But God has a purpose in all HIS holdups. 'The steps of a good man are ordered of the Lord'" reads Psalm 37:23.

When we learn to wait for our Lord's lead in everything, we shall know the strength that finds its climax in an even, steady walk. Many of us are lacking in the strength we so covet. But God gives full power for every task He appoints. Waiting, holding oneself true to His lead - this is the secret of strength. And anything that falls out of the line of obedience is a waste of time and strength. Watch for His leading.

Must life be a failure for one compelled to stand still in enforced inaction and see the great throbbing tides of life go by? No; victory is then to be gotten by standing still, by quiet waiting. It is a thousand times harder to do this than it was in the active days to rush on in the columns of stirring life. It requires a grander heroism to stand and wait and not lose heart and not lose hope, to submit to the will of God, to give up work and honors to others, to be quiet, confident and rejoicing, while and happy, busy multitude go on and away. It is the grandest life 'having done all, to stand.'" (Author Unknown)

~

After this sweet expression of encouragement, I was drawn yet again to Jeremiah's words in Lamentations, and actually thanked the Lord that He has us in a season of waiting:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (3:22-23)

If you are in a season of waiting, take heart and reflect on things for which you have much reason to praise. You may not be able to see over the hedge surrounding you, but He sees and knows, is leading and has His plan in mind for your future. (And I say this not just to anyone who might be reading, but over and over again to myself!)

Thoughts for Thursday ~ "I've Come to Realize..."

I was originally a little annoyed that this post was taking me so long to complete (roughly five days), but upon finishing I am glad I took my time. This was a good exercise for me personally, as each element challenged me and to pause and examine my heart. Thanks to PandaMom for passing it along~

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I've come to realize that my body is...a purposeful design by a wonderful Creator. On my worst days, I see the flaws that diet, exercise and makeup can’t fix. I see the flaws that would cost thousands of dollars to fix, and even then the fix wouldn’t be a guarantee. On my good days, I walk into the bathroom and meditate on the passage my husband taped to the mirror as a reminder of the truth:
For you formed my inward parts;you knitted me together in my mother's womb.I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works;my soul knows it very well.My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,intricately woven in the depths of the earth.Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them,the days that were formed for me,when as yet there was none of them. ~Psalm 139:13-16

I've come to realize that my job is...a greater provision than I could have anticipated five years ago. Not only am I thankful for the company I work for, but the stability of my job has been sufficient for my husband and I to finish seminary and support us during this season of church searching and waiting. I’ve also personally grown in ways that were needed but definitely unexpected!

I've come to realize that I need nothing more in life than...Christ’s death and resurrection!
I will not boast in anything, No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart, His wounds have paid my ransom

I've come to realize that I've lost my mind...when I walk around the grocery store only seeing the things that truly matter – chocolate, donuts, candy, cookies, etc. (and then go home crying because I didn’t buy anything that constitutes an actual meal), when I stop myself just before pouring coffee into my cereal bowl, when I wear mismatched shoes to work (thankfully this one hasn’t happened in awhile), when I grab a spoon to eat a salad with…it all sounds at least slightly off kilter, right? Well, these things seem to only occur within the timeframe of a particular week each month, so I just blame my lost mind on Eve...

I've come to realize I hate...opinions voiced with a total lack of perspective. I myself am guilty of this at times, and it can be so hurtful and uncharitable. Even when people aren’t necessarily meaning to hurt another person, we could all from time to time do well to stop, take a step back, and think of a particular issue within the framework of a larger lens. I’ve come to realize that oftentimes when I am complaining, or I overhear someone else griping, it comes down to a lack of perspective on the circumstances at hand (and by extension, a lack of grace and humility)~

I've come to realize that money is...not an evil in and of itself. As a post-seminary wife, it has taken many hard lessons for me to realize that money is not my enemy. God is always providing in the ways He deems best for us, and I am responsible for my personal stewardship of what He has given. Money is not the issue; my heart is the issue. I am thankful the Lord has been at work on me in this area, and I know that what matters most is that my husband and I are being as wise as we can with what we have been given~

I've come to realize that I'll always remember...my husband and I driving around our college town in his Ford Mustang with the windows rolled down listening to music during our first year dating - the day I looked into the cardboard box in a W@lm@rt parking lot to find the cutest puppy ever created - my dad and I dancing around the house and singing at the top of our lungs to classic rock when I was a kid - my brother and I dancing around the house and singing at the top of our lungs to Disney music when I was a kid - embarrassing my friends in public as often as the occasion allowed - being introduced to the world of scrapbooking by PandaMom and Funderstorm - the day I found out I was going to be an aunt - my mom and I reading books together before going to bed - going to Israel at the age of 15 - going to East Asia my junior year of college (and falling in the middle of a classroom full of students during that trip!) - going to Istanbul my senior year of college - receiving those first emails from then-boyfriend-now-husband during the Istanbul trip - taking part in all of my dearest friends’ wedding celebrations - being at the airport the day the Panda Family came home with Panda Girl - the day I packed up and moved to Louisville - picking up the most precious Sheltie puppy I’ve ever seen from the airport - the car accident that ruined my trusty ‘Jack Black’ - receiving the phone call confirming the diagnosis of Tuberous Sclerosis after finding a small tuber on my brain - sitting in my first livingroom in Louisville with then-boyfriend-now-husband and crying at the weight of what Tuberous Sclerosis meant for our future - the first time he said ‘I love you’ - reading the letter he had handwritten to me the night he asked me to be his wife - the doors of the sanctuary opening and walking down the aisle toward my groom as the tune of ‘Amazing Grace’ filled the air - our very first home together as husband and wife~

I've come to realize that my sibling...has come a long way. We are all so proud of all the progress he’s made this past year, and both eager and somewhat nervous to see how things go come December. For now, we pray, hope, and continue to encourage!

I've come to realize my mom...is a wonderful friend. We had some pretty rocky years while I was growing up, but by God’s grace that is no longer how our relationship is defined. We are veeeery different from one another in some ways, but I have grown to appreciate who she is as a person, and the wisdom and motherly advice she provides. My mom is also my favorite person to relax with – just me and her sitting on the back porch drinking coffee~

I've come to realize my dad...is sacrificial and always seeking the well-being of others. I didn’t appreciate that as much as I should have until my seminary years and getting married, but both my husband and I see the incredible source of support he is and we’re both so thankful! (I also love it when he comes to visit us, and every night he’s with us I leave him and my husband downstairs while they have conversations into the wee hours of the night – that just makes my heart happy.)

I've come to realize my cell phone...is a wealth of tools and quick access to FB and maps and information galore! I really do try not obsessing over it, reacting every time I hear the chime of an incoming email or text, but my husband has informed me that I respond to the chimes even in my sleep!

I've come to realize when I woke up this morning...I should have woken up sooner, but that’s the story of my life during the work week. I tell myself I’m going to get up at a certain time, but consistently stay in bed for another 30 minutes, and then I feel that much more rushed getting out the door! You’d think I would learn by now…

I've come to realize last night...(night before last now) was a sweet reminder of how thankful I am for our friends here in Louisville. We had an extremely relaxing and enjoyable evening just hanging out with our Tuesday night crew, watching a movie, eating desserts, drinking coffee, and some of us ladies crocheting. Yes, I’m truly thankful for them, and even moreso during this particular season of our lives~

I've come to realize right now I'm thinking about...the blanket I’m attempting to crochet, my very first crocheting project! It definitely doesn’t come as naturally to me as scrapbooking did, but I think I’m finally starting to get the hang of it! I think certain crafts and hobbies are dying arts which deserve to be revived~

I've come to realize today...came a tad too quickly for my sleepy head, but I’m enjoying it for what it is, and am SO thankful for the lack of humidity outside! I really do try to enjoy summertime...as long as it’s warm and breezy outside~

I've come to realize tonight...will likely be an evening of either reading or crocheting (or both!). I have thoroughly enjoyed evenings spent with my husband and I both working at our hobbies of choice side by side. Now the only question remains is whether or not I’m going to be motivated to cook (I’m definitely a work in progress when it comes to being in the kitchen)~

I've come to realize tomorrow...will take care of itself, and that the Lord’s grace is sufficient for today. “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” ~Matthew 6:25ff

I've come to realize I really want to...serve alongside my husband in a local church as soon as the Lord ordains (so the lesson in the meantime is patience and trust!). I also desire to be a mother, to experience my husband being a father - for us to parent a child together! - whether the Lord blesses us through adoption or having children of our own~

I've come to realize my children...are not deserved, but will be undeserved gifts if the Lord chooses to provide in that way~

I've come to realize the best music to listen to when I'm upset...is instrumental, praise and worship, or hymns. There are often moments when I cannot seem to articulate my feelings or thoughts, so I just naturally turn to music. Instrumental often brings images to mind, brings rest to the soul, and praise and worship or hymns are so often sweet and necessary reminders of the Truth~

I've come to realize that my friends...are instruments of grace and truth. Each person in my life to whom I refer as a dear friend has had a very specific place in my life, whether due to the particular season or the ways in which the Lord has gifted them to minister grace. And whether near or far, I am forever grateful~

I've come to realize that this year...is a mystery past, present, and future. Growth in trust and patience has become a daily process for me like never before~

I've come to realize my husband...is a gift above and beyond all I could have ever hoped for or imagined! God in His providence and grace knew the exact time to bring this man into my life, and I wouldn’t take back a second of our years together thus far for anything in the world. There is no one on the face of the earth I would rather walk this journey with, and no one reflects Christ’s love for the Church the way he does. He’s the first person I want to share my thoughts with, the first person I want to share exciting news with, and the person I can’t wait to see when I get home from work each day. I am continually encouraged, convicted, cherished, and loved. My husband always has my ultimate good in mind, even when my heart wants to reject the truth. I am a better person because of him. And all because of God lavishing His grace on us~

I've come to realize maybe I should...be more thankful for what I have. Thankful that I have a home when I’m washing dirty dishes, thankful for my job when I’m working on a monotonous project, thankful that my medical condition is not worse when I’m complaining about my skin, etc. My husband’s so much better at genuine gratitude, and I am thankful that he is so good to remind me!

I've come to realize I really don't understand...golf. I don’t get it, it makes me want to fall asleep, and just hearing people converse about it makes me want to drop my head on a desk and start snoring at an obnoxious level…

I've come to realize my past...is included in the greater testimony of God’s work in my life. As much as I would want to ignore or wish I could have done things differently, I know now that everything has been part of His greater plan. Even the painful events, and the times when I responded selfishly in my own sin, were orchestrated as part of His saving work in my life. I couldn’t always say this, but the Lord has truly freed me from past guilt and regret, and one of my deepest desires is to encourage others who come from a painful past with the same beautiful reality – that anyone who is a follower of Christ is a testimony of His glorious grace~

I've come to realize parties...have an appropriate time and place depending on my mood. I went from being an off the walls girl in high school and college, a social butterfly who wondered what was wrong with me if I was alone at home on a Friday, to a woman who carefully chooses when to and not to be social. I have learned to value rest and relaxation when given the opportunity, and rather than feel depressed when I don’t have an event planned, I savor the quiet time I am given~

I've come to realize my life...is a gift that should not be taken for granted. I have realized over time just how much of my life is wasted worrying and complaining rather than praising the One who gave me this life. I have SO many things to be thankful for, and I want my life to be characterized by a grateful and satisfied heart!

Things to Ponder as a Not-Really-Newlywed

As we have now well surpassed the two-year anniversary of our glorious and perfect wedding day, we can see the three-year mark closer on the horizon. When I look ahead to that upcoming day, less than six months away now, things feel...different. Did you feel different when you turned 18? 21? 25? (Or another "milestone" for my older friends?) Certain birthdays have just felt unique to me thus far - the feeling of finally reaching adulthood, of finally really really reaching adulthood, and then hitting the mid-20s and realizing that I might feel at least a hint of relief when the weirdness of the 20s is over. What I am pondering now is the idea that my husband and I are sort of coming out of this season when we are considered "the newlyweds." Sure, when we hit the three-year mark this coming January we will still be young and naive in the eyes of many (including our own!), but it still feels very different than the newness of those first and second years. I am sensing more now the reality of permanance, the reality that we are committed to one another and this life together for the rest of our days. With that sense of permanence comes a deeper conviction of my daily need of grace, as well as increased excitement for however many years the Lord affords us in this life. On the most quiet, mundane of evenings, I find myself glancing over at my husband next to me on the couch, and thinking, "Wow... He is my best friend, my husband, and I get to spend the rest of my life with him!" While a simple statement , the reality of it all is incredibly profound.
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Thanks to a few friends posting a link on the Book that is Face, I came across an encouraging blog entry, one that I hope brings encouragement and conviction to wives of any age and at varying stages of their own marriages. The post comes from the Mars Hill Church blog, and is entitled "18 Lessons from 18 Years of Marriage." Having been so encouraged, I printed a copy of the post to keep in my journal. Only by God's daily grace can we live with another sinner saved by the same grace, putting their needs ahead of our own and do so gladly with their good in mind. Here are Grace Driscoll's 18 lessons from her perspective as a wife:

1. Make time with Jesus your first priority, husband second priority.
2. Be intimate often.
3. Be willing to have hard and honest conversations, and pray for Jesus to make them fruitful.
4. Pray for wisdom often.
5. The enemy is always ready to divide you during trials. Don’t let him; cling to Jesus and each other.
6. Forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive …
7. Don’t enable his sin, but pray for wisdom in timing and words, and be respectful when addressing it.
8. Be a woman of inner and outer beauty.
9. Make your home a place of retreat and rest.
10. Study your husband, appreciate, value and respect him, especially when you don’t “feel” like it.
11. HAVE FUN.
12. Pray against lies. Memorize the truth of Scripture.
13. Spend regular, meaningful time together. Invest in the relationship.
14. Don’t let bitterness set in if you are hurt or frustrated; dig up the root and pray it through.
15. Be an attentive and available listener.
16. Be teachable and willing to submit.
17. Set your heart and body toward your husband and don’t let either wander.
18. Repent often and allow trustworthy people to speak into your lives.

Times They Are A-Changin' & Favorite Photo(s) Friday

The fact that today is already July 30 blows my mind! Ever since returning from our travels to the Homeland, things have been in hyperdrive. More evenings than not are spent socializing, attending meetings (my husband, not me), discovering new hobbies, and trying to keep our dogs at least mildly entertained in between going here, there and everywhere. We are daily reminded that this is a very uncertain season, but in that I pray we continue trusting in and depending on the Lord for wisdom, patience, and guidance~

We attended a get-together this past Tuesday to bid farewell to yet another couple who are moving on from Louisville and our church family. I only wish we could have gotten to know them a little better through our small group and other times of fellowship, but the time we have shared has been sweet. Both husband and wife are such glad and willing servants to others, and I know that they will be such a blessing wherever the Lord leads them. They are moving back to Austin where they are from in hopes of finding job and ministry opportunities there. The gathering on Tuesday was personally bittersweet as I was reminded that my husband and I aren't currently among those with set plans of when and where we are going next. For reasons still unknown to us, we are still in Louisville and searching for a cheaper place to live here in the city, rather than scheduling a time to move away due to a ministry opportunity.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart."~Jeremiah 29:11-13

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Make me to know Your ways, O Lord;

"Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation;

For You I wait all the day long."~Psalm 25:4-5

This coming weekend marks a significant turning point in the life of our church. I mentioned in a previous post that our pastors were in discussions regarding a potential merger with another local church. After months of prayer and transition meetings, we will be having our first worship service this Sunday under our new church name. Our pastor will still be the lead preaching pastor, and I will still gladly assist the lead worship pastor in leading the music on Sunday mornings. In addition to the anticipation of what's in store for us as a church body, my husband is also going to be teaching the youth this Sunday! In all of the transition team meetings he has attended, we weren't expecting to be told that the congregation we are joining with has around ten students ranging from ages 11-16 with no dedicated teacher. Is this why the Lord has had us linger for longer than we had anticipated? Maybe, but regardless of what we don't know, what we do know is that my husband has been given an opportunity to teach. I am eager to see what comes of this open door to leading students, and personally thrilled that he is finally going to be able to exercise that gift of teaching I love so much about him! (And I might have jumped around the room when he first came home and told me he was going to be teaching...just maybe.)





In the midst of this season of changes and uncertainties, my husband and I couldn't think of a better time to try out new hobbies! My newest hobby, thanks to my lovely church friends, is crocheting. Several friends have already been either crocheting or knitting, so I thought I would give the bandwagon a try. Lessons learning in my attempts? 1) Just because you're skilled at one craft (i.e. scrapbooking) does not mean you will magically perfect another craft on your first attempt! 2) Crocheting is good for one's personal sanctification; an excercise in extreme patience and taming the tongue! And while I have been sitting on the couch at night, cursing the yarn and needle in my hands, my husband has been busying himself at our craft table. On any given night of the week when we don't have an event planned, you will find him at the craft table surrounded by paint supplies and an army of miniatures. He purchased these miniatures to paint, which are also part of larger and complex tabletop game. This is something he has wanted to invest in for years, and the game is one that can be played with just one other person or an entire group of people. Allow me to boast about my husband for a moment - I have been amazed at his skill! He is able to take a paintbrush and make these figures come to life! He's offered for me to try my hand at one, but I just know I would make a royal mess out of one of those 25mm miniatures - so I just sit back impressed at his work :)

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In conclusion to this slightly schizophrenic post, I want to share a song that has been playing in my head throughout the week. As we take this season of waiting a day at a time, I am increasingly more aware of my desperate need of grace. And rather than praying for more grace, I have asked the Lord to make me more aware of His grace that is sufficient and abundant for today's every need. He gives more than I am often aware of and is good to show me such need:

In every station, new trials and new troubles

Call for more grace than I can afford

Where can I go but to my dear Savior

For mercy that pours from boundless stores.

CHORUS: Grace upon grace, every sin repaired

Every void restored, you will find Him there

In every turning He will prepare you

With grace upon grace.

He made a way for the fallen to rise

Perfect in glory and sacrifice

In sweet communion my need He supplies

He saves and keeps and guards my life...

To Thee I run now with great expectation

To honor You with trust like a child

My hopes and desires seek a new destination

and all that You ask Your grace will provide...

(S. McCracken, The Builder and the Architect)