Monday, August 16, 2010

Things to Ponder as a Not-Really-Newlywed

As we have now well surpassed the two-year anniversary of our glorious and perfect wedding day, we can see the three-year mark closer on the horizon. When I look ahead to that upcoming day, less than six months away now, things feel...different. Did you feel different when you turned 18? 21? 25? (Or another "milestone" for my older friends?) Certain birthdays have just felt unique to me thus far - the feeling of finally reaching adulthood, of finally really really reaching adulthood, and then hitting the mid-20s and realizing that I might feel at least a hint of relief when the weirdness of the 20s is over. What I am pondering now is the idea that my husband and I are sort of coming out of this season when we are considered "the newlyweds." Sure, when we hit the three-year mark this coming January we will still be young and naive in the eyes of many (including our own!), but it still feels very different than the newness of those first and second years. I am sensing more now the reality of permanance, the reality that we are committed to one another and this life together for the rest of our days. With that sense of permanence comes a deeper conviction of my daily need of grace, as well as increased excitement for however many years the Lord affords us in this life. On the most quiet, mundane of evenings, I find myself glancing over at my husband next to me on the couch, and thinking, "Wow... He is my best friend, my husband, and I get to spend the rest of my life with him!" While a simple statement , the reality of it all is incredibly profound.
Thanks to a few friends posting a link on the Book that is Face, I came across an encouraging blog entry, one that I hope brings encouragement and conviction to wives of any age and at varying stages of their own marriages. The post comes from the Mars Hill Church blog, and is entitled "18 Lessons from 18 Years of Marriage." Having been so encouraged, I printed a copy of the post to keep in my journal. Only by God's daily grace can we live with another sinner saved by the same grace, putting their needs ahead of our own and do so gladly with their good in mind. Here are Grace Driscoll's 18 lessons from her perspective as a wife:

  1. Make time with Jesus your first priority, husband second priority.
  2. Be intimate often.
  3. Be willing to have hard and honest conversations, and pray for Jesus to make them fruitful.
  4. Pray for wisdom often.
  5. The enemy is always ready to divide you during trials. Don’t let him; cling to Jesus and each other.
  6. Forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive …
  7. Don’t enable his sin, but pray for wisdom in timing and words, and be respectful when addressing it.
  8. Be a woman of inner and outer beauty.
  9. Make your home a place of retreat and rest.
  10. Study your husband, appreciate, value and respect him, especially when you don’t “feel” like it.
  11. HAVE FUN.
  12. Pray against lies. Memorize the truth of Scripture.
  13. Spend regular, meaningful time together. Invest in the relationship.
  14. Don’t let bitterness set in if you are hurt or frustrated; dig up the root and pray it through.
  15. Be an attentive and available listener.
  16. Be teachable and willing to submit.
  17. Set your heart and body toward your husband and don’t let either wander.
  18. Repent often and allow trustworthy people to speak into your lives.

1 comment:

Amber said...

What a great list! Thanks for sharing. :)