Saturday, April 28, 2007

preparing for us an eternal weight of glory...

Has it really been a year? Just over a year since I wrote about my diagnosis? This semester has gone by so quickly, I had not given myself time to pause and realize that my annual MRI and trip to the Tuberous Sclerosis Clinic are just around the corner. The MRI is scheduled for May 9th, and I will be heading to Cincinnati in June for my annual appointment at the clinic. I was just reading in my journal last night, flipping backwards to some of the things I wrote this past year, and I was reminded of the night my dermatologist called and told me what the results of my CT scan were. I remember the exact spot where I sat on my couch - sitting there with no noise from the TV, just myself in the quiet watches of the night. I remember the sweet presence of the Lord in the room that night, words of assurance and comfort like water washing over my soul. How near He is when we find ourselves in a valley.
This year is somewhat different from last year. Not only am I just having an MRI (rather than that in addition to CT scans), but I know what to expect now. I was nervous during that MRI since it was my first, and because I knew that such a test was ordered because the CT scan had confirmed that there was something in my brain. Yes, this year is different. The tests last year confirmed that there is something to keep watch on, and this year's test will determine if that tuber has grown. As somewhat of a preparation for the weeks ahead, I picked up a book which, unfortunately, was neglected for the better part of this semester. Last night before bed, I came across a rather comforting statement, one that rings true in particular seasons such as this:
"These griefs have been God's gifts. For only by such
severe suffering has my loving Father broken me free of some of my deeper
idolatries. In the nights' watches, while others sleep, my wakeful heart
must find rest in Him or it will find no rest at all. . . . 'When I am
afraid I put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust;
I shall not be afraid'
(Ps. 56)." ~M.R. Talbot

8 comments:

Amber said...

Is is amazing to me that we would write such similar blog posts at the same time--about God's faithfulness and blessing through the valley, through suffering, through the unknown. Our posts reflect God's Providence, faithfulness and constancy across the world for all His elect--"even the very hairs of your head are all numbered." (Matt. 10:30) Such a blessing it is to have a kindred spirit so many miles away testifying to the same attributes of our Lord as is evident in my personal experience! XOXO

Roy and Lori said...

Best of Luck to you!
Our thoughts and prayers
are with you!

Take care and have a good night

Mommy Spice said...

What an amazing attitude, and security in His love and provision. You will be in my prayers.

I haven't watched A.I. yet. I had to record it, so now I'm totally pumped to watch. I'm so glad Blake did well!!!! I'll let you know after I watch it.

Mommy Spice said...

Blake rocked!!! I absolutely loved his performance.

Funderstorm said...

I'm extremely proud of you. I know Pandamom is your "surrogate mom", but I've always held you in such a special place in my heart. I, like you, am grateful for the valleys. It is only through the valleys that we can fully realize our need for God and his eternal faithfulnes to us. When things go well, most people tend to think they are "doing something right" when in actuality it's God's blessing. When things go wrong, those same people think, "What am I doing wrong?"...when actually it's God's blessing. I'm thankful that His ways are higher than my own. I would not have chosen some of the paths he has put me on, but I have LOVED the journey and relationship is all the more sweet.
XO~ miss your smile. Reg

Gretchen said...

Grace -- you are invited to my house tomorrow night for a spa party -- 5:30

also, do you maybe want to make a trip up to the outlets tomorrow? Or are you too busy with school stuff? Just thought I'd offer.

Even if you are busy, you still need to relax a bit, so COME to the spa party!

Love, Gret

Panda-Mom said...

How funny that my Spicy Friend and you have AI in common! LOL!

You are a miracle girl and I love you.

Jenn Swadell said...
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