Saturday, August 29, 2009

Unexpected and Undeserved

When was the last time you experienced the Lord's provision in a very personal and unexpected way? Have you ever found yourself fretting and spending wasted time wondering how a particular matter is going to work out? Have you ever had all of that worry come to a grinding halt because He intervened suddenly?
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I have written much in my journal recently, not here until now, about a particular matter to which I have devoted much unnecessary worry. With graduation just around the corner, I've spent downtime wondering about my current employment, how that will be affected in the coming months, and ultimately wondering if there is something more for me post-seminary in regard to a career field. I have had a couple of possibilities in mind regarding potential career fields, just things to be considering for when we have graduated and know where we are going to be living more long-term. Concerning my immediate situation, though, my fretting has increased with each passing week as I wonder what will happen with this job I have been blessed to have with such a wonderful company these past four years. I honestly have no desire to leave the company at any point in the near future. However, I have been faced with two very real concerns; not only have I been antsy and unsettled with my current role, ready for new challenges from what I have been doing, but this particular role I am in cannot be fulfilled outside of the Louisville office. The nature of the role requires that my team interact with various departments within the office which simply can't be done remotely. Between interviewing for several open positions in other departments and wondering where in the world we will be in just a few short months, my trust has been gradually decreasing as worry has made itself at home in my heart.
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Around the close of business this past Monday afternoon, I was faced with yet another rejection. I interviewed for a position a couple of weeks ago, one for which I was most eager, but was once again told "No. You're great and have strong qualities, but..." The words had become a familiar tune, but as I returned to my desk and prepared to leave for the day, I was filled with an unnatural peace. Sure I was disappointed, but I was genuinely fine with being told that I just wasn't the right fit for the job. I went home on Monday evening and told my husband, sharing with him my feelings of contentment and peace. He also reminded me that it was probably good that I was not selected considering that I would potentially have to resign in just a few short months if we move away following graduation. I woke up on Tuesday morning with a renewed sense of peace, eager to arrive at work and do my job well and with gratitude.
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Much to my surprise, I was called into another manager's office that Tuesday morning for a rather unanticipated discussion. A certain role at the company has come available, one for which the current woman in that position has put in her resignation. Her husband is a student minister, and she has been wanting for some time to be more involved in his ministry (I knew her briefly while her and her husband were still here in Louisville as he was finishing seminary). Without having posted the job opening, without formally interviewing me or any others for that matter, I was offered the job!! I was in such shock at what I was being offered that I didn't respond for a few seconds. After pulling myself together, I eagerly accepted and began the process of talking with my current managers and signing the official offer letter. Here is where it gets interesting, and why I wanted to laugh at how incredible and unexpected this was - The woman who is resigning from this position has been in the role for two years... from Florida. When her and her husband moved to Florida following graduation, her manager basically created the position for her to be able to perform her job functions from her home office. So, not only have the managers (both current and the ones I will be working under) known and agreed that I was ready for new challenges at work, but they specifically offered me the job knowing that I will likely be moving away in the near future! My closest friend at work and I laughed all day just at the wonderfully unexpected turn of events.
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Can I humbly be something to those of you reading this who may be struggling with trust in a very real and personal way? Can I be a living testimony of how the Lord provides even when we neither expect nor deserve such provision? I have not been trusting Him in recent months - I have not laid hold of and practically believed His unbreakable promises. He promises to provide, to sustain, to care, to uphold those who put their hope and trust in Him. We will not always, may not ever, fully see or understand what He is doing in our lives, but we can rest in knowing that He is doing something. He does not leave us to ultimately fend for ourselves when our hope is in Him. He is our only real hope! I have spent much of this week after the news of the job offer repenting and thinking upon the very promises He has given in Scripture. This job offer wasn't merely good news. The offer was an immediate punch in the gut as I came to the sudden realization of how much worry and doubt were taking the place of the very rich promises written on my heart. I needed this wakeup, this prompting of the Spirit to confess where I have not trusted and declare that I am wholly dependent on the Lord. I implore you, as a living testimony of such undeserved provision, to rest in His promise of provision and abundant life. He works in such unexpected and undeserved ways, even when we are so quick to doubt.
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"My Shepherd will supply my need, Jehovah is His Name
In pastures fresh He makes me feed, beside the living stream.
He brings my wandering spirit back when I forsake His ways,
And leads me, for His mercy's sake, in paths of truth and grace."
(Isaac Watts)
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You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You,
because he trusts in You.
Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.
~Isaiah 26:3-4~

5 comments:

Stephanie Robertson said...

Fanstastic! What great news, and what a great testimony to how the Sovereign Lord knows way better what we need than we do!

jennypen said...

What a great encouragement to read today! I'm thrilled to hear about your new position.

BreAnna Fowler said...

Thanks for sharing this and congrats! I look forward to hearing more.

I too, am seeing the faithfulness of God regardless of how faithful I have been to Him. He is such a great Father to give His children good gifts!

Praising Him with you today!

Adrian said...

Congrats! That is very exciting!

Colorado Dreamin' said...

That is awesome! Thanks so much for sharing that with us! It is an encouragement and a testimony of God's great love for us and His promises! love ya!